First Tooth and Emotions

Thats right! Today Madalyn Rhea Garner got her first tooth! Its really more of a nub...its just barely sticking up out of her bottom gums. I think it was bothering her all day though. At lunch, I gave her some oranges and I noticed her trying to bite them with her new tooth. I don't know if she wanted to get some use out of the thing or if the cold oranges felt good on her sore little gums.

Today, when I discovered the nub, all I wanted to do was look at it. Mady didn't want me anywhere near her mouth. It sounds dumb, but it kind of hurt my feelings. It was like she had done this 'growing a tooth thing' by herself and kept it a secret from me. Then, when I realized what had happened, she didn't want me to be a part of it. Is that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself because she is growing up so fast. If she keeps getting older this quickly, I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up. Soon she'll be making friends and having sleepovers and if it happens too fast I wont be ready! Is being a parent like everything else? Does it take practice to get it right? Is there a right? Do I have enough time to practice before I start messing things up?

I know that part of this drama comes from my discovery of my daughters personality. She's already showing me how curious and independent she is. Here's the problem: when I was little, I listened to my parents. When they told me not to do something, I figured they had a good reason so I stayed away from the situation. Michael did not learn this way. He's the type of person that had to feel the heat to know the stove was hot. I'm so worried that my little girl will get un-necessarily 'burned' because she has to find out life on her own and not listen to the protective suggestions that her loving (and experienced) parents offer. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to shelter her...and I want Mady to live her own life, but I don't want her to suffer when she doesn't have to. I don't want her to 'experience life' but have to deal with the consequences that some decisions bring.

Here's a word to future Mady: I love you. I want you to live a wonderful life that is full of music, fun, beauty and love. The only way to experience all of these wonderful things to their fullest is through a relationship with Christ and a life lead by the Holy Spirit. God created life, I'm sure He knows how its supposed to be lived. When I discipline you or try to steer you away from certain situations, its NOT because I don't want you to have fun or because I don't want you to grow up. Its because, through an imperfect life, I have learned things that, if for no other reason, I've learned but to save you from heartache and regret. I try to keep you from things so that you WILL have fun and so you CAN grow up into the person you want to be, not just the product of what you've been through. There is a difference. You can see it on people's faces. Some people's lives are a result of the ride, others drive themselves where they want to go. Oh how I want you to grow into a confident, fun-loving, sometimes crazy, beautiful Christian woman. I will try to be an example for you...but here's a secret...I think your dad might know...I'm not perfect. I'm not always going to have the answers or be the example you want or need. Please forgive me for my shortcomings. I pray that you will look to God as your ultimate example and will live a life that is sensitive to the Holy Spirit. And that God will use your energy and curiosity to further your relationship with Him and your witness for Him. Oh, one more thing, you can tell me anything. I want to be a part of your life! No matter what, I'm here to love and help you. You are the most fascinating person to me.

Oh, how I wish I could spare Madalyn from some things...like Jr. High. Nothing good ever happens in Jr. High and everyone dresses in a way that they will regret, and hair is always a mistake and everything is just awkward. I hated Jr. High.

-AND girls. Girls can be so mean. I'd like Mady to only have the best girlfriends... who never talk behind each other's backs and who don't try to look better than each other. (Do those girls exist? Even now, I find myself competing with other women. Not only that, but I try to make sure Mady has the best outfit at story time...that's right, I'm using my 10 month old to make me look good in front of the other moms...what is wrong with me? I guess I need to work on this one before Mady gets old enough to learn from my example! She does have the best outfits though.)

-AND boys...they are always up to no good.

-AND homework...really, who needs it? Work is for work and home is for home. Never the two shall (should) meet.

-AND 8am college classes. Dumb idea. Nothing in college should happen before 10:30am. None of this, 'preparation for the real world' crap...SLEEP IN! Its your last chance until you're retired...

So far its a short list...oh there is more...but I think I'll save it for a later blog.

Sneaky Sneaky

Whew, it has been a busy couple of weeks for the Garner Family. Two weeks ago Michael rode 100 miles in a bike ride called 'Hotter Than Hell'. Mady and I tagged along (on the trip...not the ride) and had a good time. )If I haven't told you the story about our hotel, here's the short version. We checked into a hotel in Wichita Falls, TX. Nasty! Hair, bugs, stains...just gross. I cried thinking about my little girl staying in a place like that. So, we ended up staying in Lawton in a Hampton Inn...it saved the trip!) She clapped for her daddy as he rode through the finish line. Then, last weekend, Granny and Papa (Vivian and Roger) were here. We had a nice visit. Madalyn really bonded with Granny AND Papa. She loved it when Roger would play his guitar...she would throw her head back and laugh. Granny gave her a bath and they laughed and splashed. Rog and Viv also did some babysitting for us! Thats right...we went on a date...dinner and a show! Of course, the date was in Poteau, Oklahoma...dinner was Arby's drive through and the 'show' was Walmart. We did see a Tahoe that was pretty pimped out so that was exciting. Honestly, it doesn't sound that glamorous, but it was exactly what we needed.

I decided that, after nine months, everything had caught up to me. I was so tired, Michael and I had been squabbling over stupid stuff and I was at the end of my rope. Michael, being the WONDERFUL husband that he is, devised a plan to help fix all the tension that had been building up. Monday nights are now my night off. I am supposed to go somewhere and sit. I can read, drink a chai, drive around, anything...as long as I relax. Tuesdays belong to Michael, Wednesdays are Awanas (huh, I'm sure this will come up in a later blog), Thursdays are date night and Fridays are family night. My mom has graciously volunteered to babysit on Thursdays and Saturdays (so we can clean our house). It all seemed to fall into place. Its like I told God how tired I was and He said, "Okay...heres the solution." It was perfect. I really think spending some time alone, and having alone time with Michael, will be the break I need to calm down. There for a few days Michael was beginning to wonder if I was pregnant again...I think he saw glimpses of 'the dragon' coming back. Michael even volunteered to take night duty with Mady for a couple of nights. It was amazing to get a full night's rest!!! I feel normal again.

So, nothing new had developed with Mady these past couple of weeks...or so we thought. Apparently, in nursery, she has been STANDING UP. Sarah Neal had been watching Mady in nursery and afterwards commented on how Mady had been standing during the church service. Michael and I were shocked! We didn't know she knew how to stand on her own!!! We shouldn't have been surprised. Mady has begun to be very sneaky. She will sneak to a shelf that she knows she shouldn't pull up on. She sneaks out of the living room. She sneaks shoes and pieces of fuzz into her mouth. All the while, she give us this grin over her shoulder like, "Remember how cute I am? Good, let that distract you while I do what I'm not supposed to do." No good. I have already begun to ask God to morph her curiosity for life into a curiosity about Him and His Word. Oh dear...we sure do have our work cut out for us, don't we!?